Beautiful Far Away
by adangeli
Summary: While on a routine exploratory mission, Colonel Jack O'Neill and Captain Samantha Carter get caught up in a children's game that turns out to be the beginning of Rorilian marriage rites.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Notes:_ **This fic is in response to the 2014 Q2 Quarterly Claiming Challenge (QCC2014Q2) that can be found over at AO3. **Fems **made the promptl The challenge details are at the bottom, none of them spoil major plot points.

All the beautiful artwork you see here and at my website for this fic (and Primary Emotion, as well) was created by the incredibly and multi- talented Ikorni/Aenigmatic. You should check her out.

This is a big piece of work that is fabulously unbeta'd. I've been over it with a fine tooth comb and Microsoft Word's finest. Which means, obviously, when you find the mistakes Word and I were both too inept to find, I'd appreciate it if you'd let us know. Word will get flogged with a wet noodle. I'll be punished with a shot. A shot of my liquor cabinet's finest...

* * *

"Morning, Carter."

Sam slid into the space across from her commanding officer on the bench of one of the picnic-style tables that circled the village well. She squinted behind her sunglasses and tried to swallow her groan of displeasure over the brightness of the suns. He pushed a clay mug of steaming grey liquid towards her. His cocky grin was almost enough to make her refuse on principle. Almost enough.

She grabbed the cup. "Good morning, Colonel O'Neill."

"Party a little too hard last night, Captain?"

"I think that last round was a bad idea," Daniel said and plopped onto the bench next to her. She leaned over to rest her head on the archeologist's shoulder until his floppy hair tickled her forehead and his voice rumbled uncomfortably through his torso to her aching head. "How can you be so chipper this morning, Jack?"

The colonel grinned and poured another cup of the Rorilian coffee they'd learned to stomach just in time to go home. He started to slide the cup across the table as he'd done for Sam, but Daniel's hand shot out and captured it as if he were afraid the colonel was going to snatch it back. Daniel took a long gulp of the overly caffeinated beverage and Sam was once again astonished to observe his ability to tolerate the extreme heat.

"Colonel O'Neill and I declined the offer of the local celebratory beverage," Teal'c's deep voice washed over her.

She had to lean back a little to look up enough to see his face despite the fact he was on the other side of the table. Unfortunately, that put his face right next to the bright ball of the closer sun. "You guys could have said something," she groused then downed a mouthful of the kevvi that, thankfully, tasted a lot less like dishwater than it looked.

The colonel raised an eyebrow at her and she opted to ignore it. It was as close to insubordination as she'd ever get, and it felt good on top of the hangover. She took another swallow of the kevvi then looked across the square towards the construction site. "They've really made a lot of progress in just a week."

"It's pretty fascinating, actually, that they've waited so long to construct a weights and measures building," Daniel launched in with more excitement than his hangover should have allowed. "For a successful agrarian society, it's—"

"We know, Daniel," the colonel reminded him. "You were just as excited about it when we got here."

"It is my understanding that those functions were previously carried out in the temple offices," Teal'c said and frowned at O'Neill when he offered a cup of the kevvi the Jaffa had turned down each of the six previous mornings as well.

Colonel O'Neill clapped his hands and pushed back from the table. "Okay, kids. Let's get packed up and move out. We've got six klicks to cover to recover all of Carter's thingamabobs—"

"Seismic sensors, sir," she put in.

"Her seismic sensors," he repeated dutifully with humored exasperation and a roll of his eyes, "and a date with the 'gate in two and a half hours.

Sam drained her cup. "It's strange we haven't felt any tremors. With the readings we received from the MALP, I anticipated stronger seismic activity."

"Did you not say there might be activity we could not feel?" Teal'c asked.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "But I'll be anxious to see last night's data. The previous days didn't look like I expected."

"Did you figure out what was causing the strange spikes?"

She shook her head at Daniel. "No. It's metallic, whatever it is. But the Rorilian people either don't know or won't say what it would be and it's nothing that my equipment recognizes."

"Carter, these people barely have a passing acquaintance with hygiene."

"They're aware of common metals and elements, sir. They've got manufactured tools and implements." Sam gestured towards the village's religious leader's wife, Ohara, "And clearly they have more than a passing relationship with the precious metals."

"Well, time's up, Captain. You're going to have to use the data you've got."

"Maybe General Hammond will—"

"No can do, Carter. We've got a jam-packed mission roster. Fifteen minutes," O'Neill pre-admonished his easily distracted scientists, "and then we're headed out."

Well, that was patently untrue, but if the colonel said the mission was over, the mission was over. "Yes, sir." She trudged back to the squat, clay house where she'd been given quarters while the guys headed back to the barracks where they'd been sleeping alongside what amounted to the village's security force.

She packed her rucksack and thanked her hostess, a young village woman whose husband was away farming the grain fields on the plains on the other side of the mountains that formed the western boundary of the village.

Twenty minutes later – five of which Colonel O'Neill spent prodding Daniel out of various conversations with the villagers – SG-1 headed back towards the gate taking the scenic route on which Sam had set up her sensors. After watching her grimace for a half a klick, the colonel tossed her a little bottle of ibuprofen he pulled out of a pocket and she smiled at him gratefully. She dry-swallowed three and tossed the bottle back.

They made it first to the field in which she'd set up the last of her sensors. The grass was knee-high and pale in the late autumn sun and a group of kids played a pick up game of Rorilian stick ball while a few of the village elders talked amongst themselves. Sam recognized two among them, the religious leader Eduan, and the village representative Baurton. They were gesturing towards the far end of the field and no-doubt planning the planting of the spring wheat they'd been discussing during the previous night's festivities.

"Colonel!" a young girl with long brown hair called out from her place in the center of the field that was set up more like cricket than baseball. She jumped and waved emphatically. Sam watched as the colonel's eyes crinkled at the corners as a grin split his face. He was a jovial enough guy, but real smiles from him were rare and most often elicited by children.

"Nenetl," he acknowledged warmly as the girl broke from the game and rushed across the field to him.

"How is it he can pronounce her name but not a single other word I introduce him to?" Daniel huffed good-naturedly.

"You must leave today?" the girl asked, tiny hands wrapped around the colonel's wrists.

He crouched in front of her and Sam wandered off to collect her sensor, oddly uncomfortable with his easy affection for the young girl. As she packed the sensor back into its case she watched out of the corner of her eye as the little girl hugged the colonel, then Daniel, and then, after a moment of consideration, a very uncomfortable looking Teal'c.

By the time Sam made it back to her team, the rest of the young girls had abandoned the boys to their ball game and were skipping around the male contingent of SG-1, picking flowers and singing. The guys stood talking amongst themselves, the colonel's hands resting comfortably on top of his weapon as he leaned back into his hips in that way he had of looking casual when he was really calculating his surroundings. Sam noticed how the elders across the field were no longer surveying their land but her team.

The girls huddled together and giggled, throwing glances over their shoulders and Sam had the sensation that they were laughing at her – a sensation she was familiar with despite the passage of nearly twenty years. Before she could stop it, little Nenetl had skipped over and joined Sam's hand with the colonel's. He looked at Sam and shrugged. His warm palm was strong against hers that was starting to sweat. She shouldn't be touching the colonel that way. She moved to release his hand, but Nenetl wrapped her little hands around the officers' clasped ones.

Sam chanced a look into the colonel's eyes and found them twinkling. The elders had crossed the field and stood only a few yards away.

"Colonel," Nenetl said solemnly. "Sam." She patted their hands to indicate they should keep them together then stepped back with a smile. She took a handful of the tiny white flowers from her friends and set them atop their hands. "And now you shall be married of the flowers and the grasses and waters and winds to come."

She giggled and her little friends did, too. The colonel grinned. "How about that, Carter? It was a helluva lot cheaper than my first wedding." He dropped her hand and clapped her on the back; the little white flowers floated to the ground.

Sam, for her part, wondered how he could be so cavalier about something that caused panic to tighten around her lungs. She hadn't thought of marriage in more than a year and wasn't ready to think about it at all.

The village elders were murmuring amongst themselves. Considering they were back to their discussion, the Colonel was chuckling, and the children had run off to continue their games, Sam realized she needed to shake off her momentary panic and get back to work. What had just happened was nothing. Nothing at all. She was the only one making a big deal about it, though no one knew about the anxiety that was brewing in the pit of her stomach.

She picked her sensor case up off the ground. "I'm done here, sir."

"Lead on, Mrs. O'Neill," he said with a grin.

She resisted first the urge to blanch and then the urge to roll her eyes at him as she set off towards well-worn path that would take her to the old circle of outbuildings where she'd placed another sensor. When she was far enough ahead, and had regained the ability to take a full, deep breath, she looked back at him over her shoulder. "That would be Doctor O'Neill, sir." She saw his smile before she turned back towards the path.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It took two hours to collect and repackage all of her sensors. By the time they made it to the gate, they'd collected a larger contingent of villagers than they'd expected considering they had said their goodbyes before leaving the village. Nevertheless, there stood Eduan and Baurton, who certainly had better things to do than watch SG-1 dial the gate. Nenetl and her gaggle of girlfriends managed to follow along; their games were not location specific. Ohara had joined her husband, and a few others who were dressed in the Rorilian temple robes had gathered close by.

Just as Jack gave Daniel the order to dial the gate, Sam registered the concerned looks on the faces of the adults. As Daniel approached the gate, the ground shook beneath their feet.

"Carter, would that be your seismic activity?"

"Uh, yes, sir. It would appear so." Sam pulled a hand-held device out of her pack and took some basic readings.

"Dial 'er up, Daniel!" the Colonel prodded.

"Sir, wait." She watched out of the corner of her eye as the colonel shifted his glance between her and the village elders.

"Sam," he said quietly, "we get out of here now."

She looked at him with the shift in his tone. She followed his eyes. Eduan and Baurton were advancing towards them.

Baurton indicated the device in her hands. "Does your machine tell you what is happening?"

Sam looked at the colonel before answering. He shrugged, so she answered. "Well, see this spike?" She turned the device so he could see the small LCD screen. Baurton nodded. "That is a rise in the number of free-floating molecules of the unknown metal in the air. And that one," she pointed to the opposite side of the screen, "is the electromagnetic resonance from what I can only assume is the same metal. These are the highest spikes I've seen so far."

"So is a volcano about to blow or what, Carter?" O'Neill badgered.

She shook her head emphatically. "No, sir. The seismic activity I've been recording is occurring between the ionosphere and surface of this planet."

"And that means what, exactly?"

"Something is interfering with the planet's geomagnetism."

"And you think that something is the metal?"

"Well, sir, it's my best guess right now."

"Carter, I'll take your best guess over somebody's definitely any day." He turned back to Daniel in time to miss her flush over his offhanded praise. "Why are you still not dialing, Daniel?"

"You cannot leave, Colonel O'Neill," Eduan interrupted.

Sam bit her lip as the colonel raised an eyebrow at the man. She knew that look and it didn't mean he was idly curious. Behind the colonel, Teal'c's grip on his staff weapon shifted. He didn't prime the weapon, but Sam could see his hands were in position to do so. Daniel shot concerned glances between the village elders squared off with O'Neill, Teal'c's defensive position, and the DHD.

The colonel took a deep breath and Sam just knew he was about to say something to the religious leader it would probably be better he didn't. Apparently Daniel thought so, too, because he warned the older man with a low, "Jack." O'Neill threw a look over his shoulder Sam was glad to not be the recipient of, but he checked whatever it was he was about to say.

"Edoon," O'Neill started.

The religious leader narrowed his eyes.

"Ed, ew, on," Sam enunciated the syllables clearly and quietly.

"Eduan," the colonel tried again and spread his hands in manufactured supplication, "The SGC would be happy to help if there was something we thought we could do but Carter here says it's due to the—"

"We do wish for your help, Colonel," Eduan interrupted, "but we will not be needing anything more than what is already here."

"Sir, I don't have the necessary supplies or equipment to study this further," Sam interjected.

"You misunderstand," Eduan said with certainty. "This problem, it is not scientific as your machines suggest. Our gods have made known their preference; the ritual begun by Nenetl shall be seen through to its end."

"Gods?" Sam questioned, being the first any had been mentioned despite the presence of a religious leader and temple.

"Ritual?" Jack asked warily while eyeing the little girl he'd smiled fondly at just a couple of hours before.

Some of the village men, a few of whom had only joined the elders since the stop in the first field, had moved around the group and situated themselves between SG-1 and the gate.

"Uh, Jack?"

"Daniel?" the colonel asked without taking his eyes off Eduan and Baurton.

"I think they're serious about not leaving."

O'Neill looked back towards the gate. Sure enough, six very large and muscular men were standing guard. Teal'c turned, identified the threat, and primed his weapon. The village men radiated tension, unarmed as they were.

"Wait a minute, Teal'c," the colonel implored with a practiced calm that always made Sam's blood run a little cold. "I'm sure one of these nice gentlemen would like to explain what is going on."

"As my… esteemed brother… has already said," Baurton began in a way that gave the impression the man didn't hold Eduan in esteem at all, "you will not be leaving us now." Baurton looked pointedly at the device in Sam's hands. "There are a few things that must be tended to."

"What ritual?" O'Neill questioned again.

"Your tlālli marriage," Eduan said as if it should have been obvious.

"Lolly marriage?" the colonel attempted. "What the h—"

"Jack!" Daniel interjected.

Colonel O'Neill took a deep breath. "What kind of marriage?"

"Tlālli," Ohara spoke up. "A marriage born of the earth and elements."

"As opposed to…"

"Do your people have but one kind of marriage?" she questioned.

"Well, yeah," O'Neill said. "I mean, two people, a priest…" he snapped the fingers of one hand then the other before smacking with one fist with the heel of his other hand, "done deal."

"You have unions that are not heart matches, though, do you not?"

"I think she means arranged marriages."

"Thank you, Daniel."

"Here, you marry for the elements or you may marry as the gods decree. Nenetl has begun the tlālli ritual for you and your captain, Colonel O'Neill. It is a great honor."

"She's seven years old, for cryin' out loud!" he exclaimed as if that were the most worrisome part of the whole thing.

"Our people are quite adept at recognizing tlālli matches," Ohara attempted to soothe.

"Marriage?" Sam finally asked, her concern breaking through her confusion during the rapid-fire conversation.

"I think there's been some kind of mistake," Daniel tried.

"There has been no mistake," Eduan halted all the conversation with his deep and decisive voice. Another tremor shook the ground. "The gods have made their desires known. The ritual will be completed before they see fit to shake the buildings from their pilings."

Baurton turned his attention back to Sam's hand-held and pointed at the screen. "This spike is the tremor we just felt, no?"

"Yes. And here," she pointed, "is the associated spike in airborne particles of the metal." She dimly registered the colonel fussing about tlālli matches.

Baurton spoke to her quietly so as not to be overheard. "You believe these tremors to be the work of this metal."

"Yes," she said as if it were obvious.

Baurton threw a casual looking nod towards the men near the gate. They shifted and closed ranks, forming a solid wall between SG-1 and the DHD. He spoke strongly. "Then, as Eduan has requested, you will stay."

"Requested?" O'Neill questioned incredulously.

"We have more weaponry than these people, O'Neill," Teal'c observed in that way he had of making veiled threats.

"We can't kill them, Teal'c," Daniel.

"Shut up, Daniel," O'Neill warned.

"You can't seriously be—"

"Daniel," Sam warned quietly with a shake of her head. She didn't like the idea of blasting her way out any more than Daniel did, but she'd quickly learned the tones in commanding officers' voices and Colonel O'Neill's left no room for challenge.

The colonel made a quick risk assessment – the men standing in front of the DHD; the children and other villagers nearby in the tall grass; the large and unpredictable man standing next to Sam; the religious leader and his regal wife. Sam could see it right away – the risk of civilian casualty was too great. They weren't going to be fighting their way off the planet. Not at that moment, anyway.

After looking around and then taking three deep breaths for the kind of good measure meant to keep the other side off-kilter, O'Neill spoke. "We need to check in with our superior officer. If we don't, they'll send more people with weapons through the gate and things might not go so well after that."

"You will communicate via your radio," Eduan indicated the comm unit on the colonel's shoulder he'd seen used several times over the course of SG-1's week-long visit.

"Fine," O'Neill said. "One more time, Daniel. Dial 'er, up."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

An hour after they were supposed to have been home, the members of SG-1 found themselves letting their packs fall next to the beds they'd vacated that morning. The colonel and Teal'c were somewhere talking strategy and Daniel had already gone back to what amounted to a library but that the Rorilians referred to as Scholar's Hall. Sam had fired up her laptop, thankful she'd requested backup batteries from the SGC along with some more advanced equipment she could use to further examine the effects of the unknown metal on the planet's electromagnetic stability. It would take several hours for the SGC to pull her requested items together and then she'd walk the nearly four miles to the gate. Again.

It didn't matter, really; she had a couple hours' worth of test parameters to write before she could put the new equipment to work, anyway. Not twenty minutes had passed when Eduan swept into the kitchen of the small home she was working in. It was the only room in the house with a table big enough for her to set up her computer and enough sheets of paper to make notes without having to keep shuffling things around.

"Captain Carter, there are attendants available for you in the temple rooms. You must be appropriately attired for the rituals."

Sam looked at him uncertainly. "My orders are to design and run the necessary tests before nightfall and to check back in with the General. I understand your rituals are important to you," she attempted to placate, "but I'm not at liberty to disobey my superiors." She congratulated herself on her restraint. What she'd really wanted to do was tell him where exactly he could shove his marriage rituals. She liked Nenetl, she did, but she could have throttled the girl for starting what was turning into an interplanetary incident.

Eduan was visibly taken aback by her flat refusal to do his bidding and he huffed and swept back out of the room. No doubt, she figured, to find Colonel O'Neill and beseech him to order Sam to comply. Ha! she thought, unlikely. If he'd initially been amused by Nenetl's game, he'd quickly changed his tune when Hammond had extended their mission by at least twelve hours. The General had spoken the carefully coded phrase that alerted SG-1 they should play along to ensure their safety but not commit to anything that might cause further interest. If the Rorilians were at all concerned the man in charge of an extraterrestrial exploration team was suddenly interested in what team won a game they'd never heard of, well, they didn't show it.

She'd just recovered from Eduan's last visit and begun making more progress when he returned. "Your Colonel O'Neill does not seem to understand the seriousness of this situation, Captain. Perhaps you could explain it to him."

Oh, she recognized the veiled threat but she got more than a little thrill when she told him, "Daniel's in charge of cultural exchanges. He'd probably be more useful, under the circumstances."

Eduan leveled a look at her that surely caused more than one village female to bow to his demands. She wasn't his average village female.

She wasn't altogether surprised when Eduan's wife appeared nearly an hour later. Ohara floated into the room in a cloud of lavender and sweet grass that had put Sam instantly at ease when she'd met the woman a week prior. She wore her social status like she wore her hair: a loose and flowing beautiful thing with which she didn't concern herself too much. She pulled a stool across the room to the other side of the table Sam was working at, collected her long robes around herself, and slid onto the seat.

"My husband does not quite know what to do with you, Captain Carter."

"He wouldn't be the first," Sam observed and erased a variable from an equation on a nearly full sheet of paper.

"You are resistant to the tlālli marriage."

"I'm resistant to all marriage, Ohara, it's nothing personal."

"So you are likewise uninterested in…how do you call a trabaho marriage?"

Sam shook her head. "I don't know what that word means."

"It is a," Ohara twirled her hand in the air, "relationship for the benefit of business."

"Oh. Well, no. Not one of those, either."

"Are you already married?"

Sam sighed. "No. Where I come from, I don't have to be married."

"I suspect your hesitation comes from more than our cultural differences, tuhiha."

The familiar appellation made Sam smile. Daniel had explained it was a conceptual word describing someone else's daughter but that the Rorilians used as a term of affection for women. The language, to his delight, shared many similarities with the Nahuatl language of the Aztec peoples of Earth.

Sam pushed her bangs back off her forehead and sat back on her stool, abandoning her work for the moment. "I was almost married, once."

"You do not wish to marry that man now, though."

Sam laughed derisively. "Absolutely not. I couldn't marry him anyway," she said with a slight shake of her head, then pursed her lips. "He's been dead a while now."

"I am sorry, Samantha," Ohara said and covered Sam's hand with her own.

"Thank you, but I'm not. Not really. He was…he was not a good man. He demanded power over people and he didn't deserve it."

"And yet you agreed to marry him? It was a trabaho match?"

Sam shook her head. "No. No, it was…I chose him. Well, he chose me."

"Your Colonel O'Neill…is he a good man?"

Sam looked at Ohara, slightly taken aback. "I think so. I don't know him, really. Not as anything other than my commanding officer."

"He is fair? Kind?"

Ohara looked out the window and smiled. Sam followed her gaze and watched as the colonel dropped to a knee in front of Nenetl and spoke to her firmly. The little girl looked sad, but not frightened, and he laid a heavy hand on the crown of her head, stroked the side of her face, and then tugged the end of her long hair playfully. He said something else and the little girls smiled.

"Sure. I guess," Sam allowed.

"So, he would make a good husband?" The question drew Sam's attention back into the kitchen.

"I'm sure he would, but—"

"And yet you are resistant to marrying him though Nenetl has proclaimed you to be a tlālli match."

"About that," Sam deflected, "she's just a child and she's hardly spent any time with either of us. How would she be able to make that kind of prediction?"

"It is said there are girls born of each generation who can see into the hearts of our people. Most all of our unions are trabaho. A lucky few are gifted with tlālli unions. My parents were among those," Ohara revealed with pride.

"In this case," Sam said gently, "I'm afraid she's wrong. Even if the colonel and I were a tlālli match, the regulations we are bound by prohibit a relationship between us."

"There are exceptions to rules, tuhiha."

Sam's focus slipped back to the courtyard where the colonel was accepting a handful of the little white flowers from Nenetl. Sam ripped her gaze away from her commanding officer before she started thinking of him as a man. "Anyway, I'm a scientist, Ohara. You're better off allowing me to solve your problems with this," she said while waving a hand across the table full of her work, "than you are by making me a wife."

"I do not believe that to be true, Samantha," Ohara said, surprising Sam with the use of her given name. She stood and conceded with a smile, "But my beliefs are not yours."

At the door, Ohara turned and offered one last piece of advice. "My husband, he will not be swayed. Our gods have decreed you will be married by way of the ancient rites or our village will suffer. Eduan is a man of many convictions, his belief in our gods chief among them. If you want to see your science through, perhaps you should allow him his rites. Consider it a…cultural exchange," she finished and departed leaving only the dusty smell of lavender and confusion in her wake.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Despite the extra laptop batteries and equipment, at eight thirty that night Sam admitted she didn't have anything remotely helpful. She knew the metal she'd detected occurred frequently but randomly throughout the mountain formations, she knew microscopic particles of the metal were released into the air each time a tremor shook the village, and she knew those particles were interacting with the ionosphere causing more tremors and perpetuating the cycle. While the tremors were still slight and infrequent, they'd been strong enough to dislodge the lumber scaffolding from outside the weights and measures building. The unfinished building was still standing, but both the colonel and Teal'c had questioned how long that might be, as the footings hadn't yet had a chance to settle.

As the day had worn on, the tremors continued – one every three hours or so. Eduan had grown increasingly agitated with her reluctance to enter the temple and be attended to.

At one point Daniel had come in, his arms full of books, and told her the marriage rites consisted of eight phases – one of which she'd already undergone – but the rites could be completed fairly quickly if she'd just… She hadn't let him finish because she was not going to, under any circumstances, marry Colonel O'Neill. Not even for pretend. That was the last thing she needed. Honestly. It was a gross violation of fraternization regulations, but if it weren't, it wouldn't matter. She wasn't remotely ready to begin contemplating what marriage might mean. Not to a man she didn't know. Most certainly not after what she'd nearly gotten herself into by thinking about it so little the first time around.

Around six o'clock the colonel had grasped her shoulders and physically turned her away from her equipment. He waved something heavenly smelling and vaguely taco-like under her nose. She'd eaten it in four large bites while he laughed at her and she remembered she hadn't stopped for lunch despite more than fifteen miles of hiking to the gate and back that day. She licked the juices of some tasty local animal off the side of her hand and got back to work. Five minutes later, another hunk of meat wrapped in the thin, flexible cornbread appeared at her elbow.

Trudging back to the gate that night in the last slivers of dual-sunlight, Daniel made his case to the officers. He spoke quietly to avoid involving their escorts, Baurton's men, in the conversation. "I know it isn't exactly what you want to do, but if you'd just consider going through the marriage rites you could buy yourself enough time to do some more research."

"Daniel, I don't want to hear it," the colonel replied.

Sam happened to agree. "I don't have time for that, Daniel. The data suggests the tremors are going to get stronger and more frequent as more particles are released into the air."

"Well, they're not going to let us leave until you two get married."

"We can't leave," Sam exclaimed a little too loudly. Daniel shushed her. "We can't leave," she hissed. "If I'm right, the tremors could destroy the village."

"So you want to what, Carter? Save them? They're holding us hostage. Besides, we suggested evacuation earlier and it was a non-starter."

"It's not like they're mistreating us, sir," she pointed out. "If I could just have a little more time I might be able to find a solution." Sam recalled her earlier conversation with Ohara. "If we played along, sir, it might buy us enough time." As she heard the words coming out of her mouth she was trying to shove them back in. "Of course, there's got to be another way to—"

"I think Sam's right, Jack," clearly both pleased and confused Sam had come around to his way of thinking.

Shut up, Daniel.

Colonel O'Neill stopped walking and turned around to face Sam and Daniel. "You," he said pointing at Daniel, "really think the best way to handle this is to buy time by going through with this marriage crap?" Daniel nodded. "And you," the colonel pointed next to Sam, "agree with him."

"Well, sir," she hedged, "what are we going to do there, exactly?" She waved ahead towards the gate. "We're going to tell the General I haven't figured it out yet and that the Rorilians have taken our weapons and we're not obliged to leave. Then we're going to tell him we recommendagainst sending a rescue party through the gate as we're not actually in any danger. Right?"

His eyes narrowed at her and she knew she was pushing her luck. He graced her with an answer, though. "Your point, Captain?"

"My point, sir," she said with as much aggrieved sigh as she felt she could get away with, "is if we at least pretend we're going to go along with it, we might be able to buy enough time to figure out what's going on here."

"How much danger are we in if we stick around?"

He asked the question and she already knew she'd won. She tried not to smile; besides, winning meant trying to solve a problem she couldn't wrap her head around yet while simultaneously pretending to marry her commanding officer – who was, incidentally, a man she barely knew. Yes, winning was a relative term under the current circumstances.

"Right now, sir, it's difficult to say. The tremors are currently only registering between 2.0 and 2.7 on the seismograph."

"Meaning…" he led.

"Meaning we're not in any danger, sir. At least not yet."

The colonel turned around and set back off towards the gate. "How long?"

Sam attempted to grimace but ended up grinning; it was a puzzle and despite the other challenges, she was going to get to try to solve it. "Three days?" she asked. It was less than she thought she'd need, but she'd already learned to push by degrees when it came to Colonel O'Neill.

"Fine," he said and dug the heels of his boots hard into the trail with each step towards the gate. "Three days, Captain."

Three days, she thought. Oh boy. Well, how married could they get in three days, anyway?

* * *

**Prompt:**

Sam and Jack get married off-world in an alien ceremony, either on purpose or by accident.

Must haves:  
- Cultural misunderstandings/differences  
- Unresolved Sexual Tension (which can be resolved by the end, obviously)  
- One or more kisses  
- Awkwardness  
- Alien (marriage) ritual  
- Alien food/drinks that have a mild intoxicating effect  
- Presence of Daniel and Teal'c  
- A credible explanation as to why they (accidentally) got married.

Good smut is always welcome, but not a necessity.

No:  
- Out of character-ness  
- Crack!Fic  
- Slash (between any members of SG-1)  
- Jealousy between members of SG-1 in response to this marriage (but jealous yet harmless aliens are allowed)  
- Pity party from Daniel that he's now all alone because his friends got together


	2. Chapter 2

Sam took a seat next to Daniel on the wooden bleacher-type benches in what amounted to the village's town hall. He jostled her and fidgeted in an attempt to find a comfortable position with two heavy volumes on his lap. Why he needed them, Sam wasn't sure. It wasn't that he hadn't explained; Sam's focus had been reserved solely for her equipment as the first of the three days the Colonel had promised her faded into dusk.

The colonel collapsed onto the bench next to her. His black t-shirt and skin were warm from the suns. He was panting slightly and, when she looked at him, she could see the hair at his temples was dark with sweat. She handed him the half-empty bottle of water from between her feet.

He took it, drained it, and then dragged the back of his hand across his mouth. After a few deep breaths, he turned one eye on her. "Your equipment is heavy, Carter."

Before she could ask, he and Teal'c began moving her magnetic particle inspection equipment to the makeshift laboratory space she'd been granted. The borrowed unit from the SGC was large and, as the colonel had pointed out, quite heavy as it was designed as a stationary unit. While they had transported the component pieces from the gate to the village by cart, moving the pieces from the house where they'd been temporarily stored to the temple had been a task best done by hand – specifically, two hands attached to Jaffa-sized muscles and the colonel's for good measure. Really, she thought he probably jumped into that task because it was something to do besides sit and watch her do research.

He'd surprised her, actually, by appointing himself the person in charge of making sure she ate each meal and drank her fair share of the local fruit juice that came out of something that looked like a beet but tasted a little like a carroty banana. That fantastic meat from the day before had shown up again in her breakfast – shredded into the batter of a savory pancake-like thing that she'd probably dream about once Rorilia was nothing more than a distant memory. He'd brought her lunch and dinner, too, chuckling when she screwed her face up at the fruit-salad-with-grits thing that had been supper.

She didn't know how Daniel had been faring, but considering she'd seen little of Teal'c, she imagined that the colonel had assigned the Jaffa to the archaeologist and that Teal'c was providing a similar service. Sam and Daniel's predisposition for skipping meals, sleep, and showers in deference to their work had preceded them by quite a margin after only the first handful of weeks on the team. Since then, their reputations had only gotten worse.

He leaned over, his chest pressed hard against her thigh, and it took her aback for a moment before she realized he was reaching for Daniel's water as well, his fingers scrabbling against the edge of the plastic bottle. Daniel looked up distractedly, nudged the bottle with the side of his foot until it tipped into the colonel's hand, and then went back to his books. Sometimes the two of them communicated in a way that made her wonder just what exactly happened on Abydos that made two incredibly different guys sync up the way they did. Oh, she'd witnessed some head butting between them, but their connection was clear. It was sweet and comforting, in a way, to know the hard-nosed colonel was capable of that kind of bond, but it made her feel like an outsider.

Behind the three of them, Teal'c claimed a seat. She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. He nodded, but that ever-present frown on his face left her feeling a little unsettled. The big man's deep voice and formidable skills were in direct conflict with the gentle nature she'd judged him to have.

Surrounded by her team – all of whom individually left her feeling vaguely unbalanced at any given moment – she felt settled for the first time since she'd stepped into the hall where Eduan, Baurton and Ohara were having a quiet but heated discussion.

The colonel squeezed the second empty water bottles after he'd finished it. The foreign sound of crinkling plastic drew the gazes of the surrounding villagers and Sam quietly took the bottle from him and had to check a grin at the slight pout that pulled at his mouth and then settled between his eyebrows. It suddenly occurred to her that he was always in motion. She handed the bottle back but admonished him with a "shhh" and when he smiled at her, really smiled, she realized that he truly was a very dangerous guy. If she were any other girl, that smile might mean trouble.

But she wasn't any other girl. She was just the girl he would pretend to marry so she could buy enough time to figure out what was happening to the Rorilian people's planet.

At the front of the room, Eduan stood. The quiet murmurings of the villagers fell silent. "I have gathered you here," he began with authority, "to ensure we move forward as one mind. The village, it is being shaken! The teachings say that the gods have made it clear what is expected of us and that when we disobey, their displeasure will be known with speed and strength we should fear. We should fear now. We should fear because our fates are in the hands of these outsiders." He swept his hand out in a grand gesture that, when accompanied with his booming and haughty voice, put Sam in mind of televangelists.

His voice softened. "But I am told I should not worry. I am told that the ones who have angered the gods will bring peaceful rest back to our village."

"Hey, wait a minute," the colonel interjected, "_we_ didn't start anything."

"You will choose to see things in your manner, Colonel O'Neill," Eduan said in a way that made it clear that he placed the blame for the current situation solely on the colonel's and Sam's own shoulders. "But the fact remains, the ritual, once begun, must be completed. And you have agreed to complete the rituals, have you not?"

Sam shot a glance at the colonel. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yeah. We agree."

"And yet it's been more than a day and Captain Carter still has not ventured to the temple to be attended to."

"She has been tending to her machines," Baurton said. His voice dripped with a vitriol that stained his handsome face.

Sam was momentarily flummoxed. This was the same man who had, just the day before, all but demanded she use those same _machines_ to determine what was happening to the planet. Then, though, Baurton shot a glance at Eduan's back that could have melted tungsten. Something was at play between the two men, she was sure of it. Not knowing what it was, though, meant she was still in as delicate position as she'd been in before. Baurton met her eye and while the look therein was not malicious, it was cool, calculating and more than a little confusing.

"She will be allowed time to consider her science, Eduan, you have agreed."

He had? Sam wondered just how much she'd missed while she'd spent the day holed up with her data. Quick glances at the colonel and then at Daniel showed neither one of them were aware they'd been the subjects of debate, either.

"She will be married," he said angrily and banged a fist onto the table. Ohara murmured to him, he took a deep breath and then opened his mouth to continue. He didn't get the chance.

"_She_ is doctor of things that are going to save your asses," the colonel jumped to her defense with more vigor than she really thought the situation warranted. "And _she_ isn't the only one you need to marry off. So maybe you shouldn't piss off _her_ fiancé."

When Sam was able to wrench her eyes from her commanding officer, whose vehemence had forced him to stand, she was surprised to find Ohara sitting between the two feuding Rorilians with a small smile playing around her mouth.

"Jack," Daniel said quietly and reached in front of Sam to touch the colonel's wrist with just the tips of his fingers. The colonel looked down at Daniel, his dark eyes flashing with intensity.

"Perhaps all of you should take a moment to gain perspective," Ohara said and Sam would have sworn she heard humor in the other woman's voice. "Eduan, Colonel O'Neill, please sit and discuss this as learned men. Anger will get us nowhere beyond this room."

"We have placed the fate of our people and our village in the hands of two people who do not care to save it," Eduan complained.

"Perhaps it is that they do not share your opinion that your gods will tumble your city down to rubble," Baurton interjected.

"That would be a boon for your cause, would it not, Baurton? Perhaps you push where you should not."

"I choose to seek a solution wherever there might be one."

"As do I, my esteemed brother," Eduan spit. "With whatever tools might be at my disposal."

"Tools beyond teachings will be our salvation." Baurton said and whispers moved through the crowd.

Sam's head was beginning to ache as she tried to follow what was surely years' worth of undercurrent being revealed by the current situation.

"Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter have agreed to you your terms, Eduan. It will not be the end of the village to allow them to reconcile their own customs to ours." Ohara met Sam's eyes once again. Sam was suddenly sure Ohara heard things Sam couldn't say during their conversation the day before.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The next morning she was up and out of her temporary quarters before the second sun had risen. The promise of a new lab and overnight data from the magnetic particle inspector were a siren's call too loud to deny. She wound her way through the back hallways of the surprisingly intricate temple and, when she pushed the heavy door into the room she'd been given, she was shocked to find the colonel sitting there on a stool with two cups of kevvi and one of the fruit pastries she'd eyed after the town hall meeting the night before but hadn't had the appetite for.

"If you were much later you'd have come in to crumbs," he quipped.

"You showed marvelous restraint, sir," she said with a quick grin.

He waited for her to wake up her laptop before he pushed the pastry in her direction. "Breakfast now, data later."

"This will only—"

"Ack! Captain? Breakfast _is_ the most important meal of the day."

"There's some debate about that, sir." She said, but she still lifted the pastry to her mouth and took a bite. A bright flavor that vaguely resembled citrus burst across her tongue and tantalized her taste buds. "Oh my god," she groaned.

"Good, right?" he asked with a grin.

"That's really amazing."

"I should get extra points for not eating it even after knowing how good it is."

"You'd have denied me the most important meal of the day?" she feigned shock.

"Well, I hear there's some debate about that."

They smiled at each other just a moment too long and Sam remembered she wasn't supposed to make friends with him. He was her CO, nothing more. She wasn't supposed to make friends with _any_ of them. Do the job, be a team, save each other's asses, go home, and get some of _whatever_ you need from somebody who isn't your teammate. _Preferably_, she added based on her personal experiences, _from somebody who isn't military_.

He watched her closely, she noticed out of the corner of her eye, as she ate with one hand and pecked at keys on her laptop with the other. When, at one point, she relinquished the pastry for the hot cup of kevvi, he reached over and broke off a corner of flaky crust and popped it into his mouth. She pushed the plate across the table to him and he accepted it eagerly before she went back to her data.

"Learn anything interesting?" he asked her around a mouthful of her purloined breakfast.

In fact, there was a lot of interesting information on her screen. She may have only been under him for a few months, but she'd already learned his limited tolerance for her scientific ramblings. "You want the Cliff's Notes version?"

"Please."

"The free-floating particles of UME-001—"

"UME? Seriously, that's what you're calling it?"

"Yes, sir. Unknown Metallic Element."

"Boring."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"That's a boring name, Carter."

"Well, what would you rather I called it?"

"Oh, I don't know," he cast about, "something snazzy. Like…Rorilium."

"Rorilium?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"We don't just get to name things, sir. There's a process."

"Hey, you discovered it. I could have suggested Carterium."

"I think UME-001 will be just fine for now, sir."

"Boring," he huffed again once more under his breath before popping the last bite of the pastry into his mouth.

"Anyway," she said and tried not to roll her eyes, "the free-floating particles of UME-001 _are_ showing spikes in their detectable levels that coincide with the tremors. That, along with seismic readings that indicate strengthening tremors as the overall UME levels rise and interact with the ionosphere, leads me to the conclusion that the metallic element is where I should be concentrating my research."

"And then what?"

"Sir?"

"Well, what happens when you figure out how UME-001 is interacting with the iono-whatever?"

"Sphere," she corrected automatically. She shrugged, "Well, I figure out how to stop it."

"We have told you how to stop it, Captain Carter," Eduan said as he stepped through the open door into the temporary lab.

Sam sighed and tried not to notice the instant grimace that the colonel had adopted as soon as the older man had come into the room. She channeled as much of Daniel as she could muster. "I understand your religion is very specific about the ceremony Nenetl began the day before yesterday, but my equipment is picking up quite a bit of activity that can be explained by the increased presence of this metal in your air."

"Put there by the gods, no doubt, to show their displeasure. Displeasure, I will remind you, which can be assuaged only by the completion of the ritual tlālli marriage you have both agreed to."

"Yeah, yeah, we will. But Carter's got a lot of fancy information there that says there's more going on than a couple of angry gods."

"Sir," Sam said quietly, in hopes the colonel would understand she was admonishing him for his marked lack of diplomacy.

The colonel took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand down his face. "Eduan. Captain Carter is smart. Really smart," he frowned. "Smarter than all the rest of us put together."

"Sir—"

"Now's not the time for modesty, Carter." He turned his attention back towards Eduan. "We'll get to your ceremony, but she wouldn't be putting it off if it wasn't important. And Daniel mentioned there were a bunch of pre-wedding…_things_…that needed to be done?"

Sam kept a half an ear on the colonel's conversation as she scanned over the rest of the overnight data. Apparently, he was happy enough to deflect Eduan's attention for the time being. In truth, he'd run a fair bit of interference since the whole thing started. Apparently he was no more anxious to pretend to marry her than she was to marry him. Despite the circumstances, she couldn't help a slight pang of _well, why not? What's wrong with me, anyway?_ Besides, it's not as if they were pretending to get married; they were pretending they'd pretend to marry. Suddenly she was very confused and it had nothing to do with the exponential numbers on her computer screen.

She flicked her glance back up to the colonel who was looking obstinately at Eduan. She chanced a look at Eduan and found him studying her intently and then shifting his eyes towards the colonel. He looked like he was assessing them. Great. What had she missed? She couldn't help the frisson of nerves that skittered up her spine. _This_ is precisely why she was supposed to pay attention to everything.

"Right, Carter?"

She looked at the colonel, dumbfounded. _Right, what?_ He tilted his head toward her a little, shot her a tight smile, softened his eyes – she'd have sworn it – he _knew_ she hadn't really been paying attention.

"Yes, sir," she finally decided. "That's right."

"She shouldn't need more than…what? Two more days?"

"Oh. Well, theoretically, I should be able to—"

"Fine." Eduan cut her off. "This day and the next. If by then she has not been seen by the attendants, she will be sent for."

"Hey," the colonel bristled but Eduan cut him off.

"You are in no position to posture, Colonel O'Neill. She will have her two days." Eduan turned back to Sam. "My wife tells me you are concerned about Earth rules that prohibit your marriage to Colonel O'Neill."

Sam struggled to contain her groan and couldn't help but look guiltily at the colonel. His eyebrow was raised in what she could only guess was confusion and, possibly, some amusement if the tip up at the corner of his lips meant anything. She opened her mouth to reply but when the words didn't rush forth, Eduan continued.

"And, perhaps, your heart belongs to another man you were supposed to marry."

She looked back at the colonel, his face suddenly pulled into a moue.

She watched him carefully as she replied, suddenly fascinated with the range of emotions she saw around his eyes. "My objections to marrying the colonel have nothing to do with my former engagement. And Ohara was right. There _are_ regulations that prohibit the development of a personal relationship between the two of us." She watched as the colonel's gaze dropped to the floor. She shifted her attention to Eduan so she wouldn't have to see the colonel's reaction to her next revelation – that she wasn't, perhaps, as stoic as she should have been when it came to the development of personal relationships with her teammates. "But, I'm objecting because there's a _purely_ scientific explanation for what's happening here. We can attempt to appease your gods all we like, but no amount of inappropriate behavior between me and Colonel O'Neill is going to be the answer."

Eduan pierced her with a look. "You will be married, Captain Carter, as the teachings of my people decree. You have visited the possibility of ruin upon my village and that will not be tolerated. I have held my temper to this point and I will honor the two days your colonel has requested. But do not push me further, girl; I will not have it."

Sam felt herself flush with anger as she was admonished like a child by a man who didn't know her. The colonel took a step towards her despite the table that separated them. "Sam," he said quietly and shook his head once when she met his eye.

Eduan swept out of the room in a whirlwind of brown and bone-colored robes. She was concentrating hard on regulating her breathing and cooling her ire. The colonel was considering her carefully, his head tilted a little to the side as if she was a conundrum he couldn't quite figure out. "So, where'd you zone out to?"

"I'm sorry, sir?"

"You checked out of that conversation for a little while. Where'd you go?"

She shook her head, unwilling to share her inner-conflict with him. "Nowhere, sir. What did I miss?"

"More of the same. And a little tlālli pressure."

"Tlālli," she scoffed. "Right. What makes a seven year old girl think we're such a good match, anyway?"

"I don't know Carter," he said and then pushed himself away from the table and towards the door. He threw his last words over his shoulder before he left. "But I think you're probably a catch."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Is it just me, or is Eduan a little less hospitable than he used to be?" Daniel asked as he plopped down at the picnic table that SG-1 had appropriated by the well.

The colonel grunted noncommittally and shoved another bite of the Rorilian porridge into his mouth.

"I've got only today to figure out why UME-001 reacts the way it does with the ionosphere and figure out how to stop it."

"I'm sure Jack would give you more time if—"

The colonel spoke around a mouthful, "Not my mandate, Daniel."

"It kind of was."

Sam shook her head. "Eduan implied he'd force my participation if it came to that." She took a sip of kevvi and pushed her porridge around in her bowl with her spoon. "Have you found out anything else about the marriage ceremony?"

"Just the eight quick phases thing. I've been concentrating on the books that mention the tremors."

"Books, _plural_?"

"Yeah," he said, his excitement mounting. "Some of the books are very old and in a different dialect of the language. It's interesting, actually. The older language appears more nuanced with structural dissimilarities that are typically found as a language _e_volves."

"Doesn't sound interesting to me," the colonel put in.

"It's interesting," Daniel said with exasperation before stealing the colonel's untouched cup of kevvi, "because the Rorilian language seems to have devolved – at least, according to what we know about the evolution of languages – since these texts were written. Some of them are almost a thousand years old!"

"So?"

"So…I don't know yet, Jack. That's why I'm going back today. Right now as a matter of fact."

Daniel hadn't made it three steps away from the table when the colonel stopped him and tossed him a piece of fruit that he'd produced from who knows where, probably one of his cargo pockets. "Breakfast."

Daniel shot him a pleased, crooked smile and headed off towards Scholar's Hall.

Sam took the opportunity to gather up the notes she'd brought with her to the breakfast table. She'd pushed herself up off the bench and had almost made her getaway.

"Carter, sit. Pushing your food around in the bowl isn't eating it," the colonel admonished.

She sighed and checked the impulse to tell her commanding officer she was a grown woman and could look after herself, especially since she'd given him ample proof that there were times that was untrue. "It doesn't agree with me, sir. I'll grab a power bar from my bag on my way to the lab."

"Carter."

Dammit. She knew that tone of voice. That was his 'I'm going to be serious for a few minutes' voice. _That_ meant she couldn't just blow him off. She sat back down. "Yes, sir?"

"This is day three; we need to assess. How about a sitrep, Captain?"

She couldn't help but deflate a little. "Well, sir… I know that the metal is interacting with the ionosphere."

"Even _I_ know that by now. What else you got?"

"What I've got doesn't make much sense. This metal is somehow exciting the ionosphere and interrupting the expected ionization of free negative electrons. We'd expect to see those electrons interacting with the positive ions that are a result of the suns' radiation."

"Carter—" he said, strained, and she knew she was reaching the edge of how much science he was willing to endure.

"Right. Simultaneously, we're experiencing tremors that are, right now, benign. Nevertheless, they're increasing in intensity and coinciding with spikes of the levels of the metals in the atmosphere. I'm going to have to float a sensor balloon to take more specific ionospheric readings."

"So, you need more equipment from the SGC."

"Yes, sir."

"Do we actually _have_ this equipment?"

"Yes, sir. We've recently brought a meteorologist on staff. And prior to that we've had two geologists."

"Right. And you're going to want to stick around here to fiddle with your equipment a little more?"

"Yes, sir." They both knew that meant he'd be the one making the hike to the gate.

"Okay. Make me a list; I'll go check in with Hammond. You do what you need to so we don't have to get hitched."

She grinned. "I thought you said I was a catch, sir."

"Carter, a guy like me catches a woman like you, he's got more than he can handle."

She felt herself blush. She knew it was just his way of deflecting, but it was sweet in a way she wasn't used to. It was also uncomfortable to think about him as a man who thought about her as a woman. She'd assumed he was largely unaware of her gender despite the fact that one of the first things he'd done was flash her that slow, provocative smile and tell her he _liked women_. She wasn't naïve; she knew what that implied. She also knew that the key to that conversation was that she wasn't a woman; she was a scientist – as if, somehow, the two couldn't exist together. Since that time, she'd taken the little flirts and compliments as facets of his personality and she hadn't thought anymore about it.

Until...until she'd had to lay bare the failings of her personal life and he'd been surprisingly un-Jack-O'Neill-like about the whole thing. She hadn't gotten into the specifics with him, but based on her history and his clearance level, it wouldn't have taken him long to find out that the troubles between her and Jonas had made it all the way to their respective CO's offices and why, exactly, a man of Jonas' age and education had a PCS to the SGC as a captain rather than a major.

A flurry of activity pulled her attention away from the colonel and she could feel the heat drain out of her face as soon as she broke his gaze.

The main road through the village ran outward from the courtyard with the well and communal dining tables. In one direction was Scholar's Hall where Daniel had holed up for the better part of the mission. In the other direction was the temple where her temporary lab was set up. There were boxy houses just off one side of the courtyard that repeated in long rows for several blocks and spread out into the dusty plains becoming more hut-like the further away from the village they were. On the other side of the courtyard were the buildings that seemed to belong to Baurton and his ilk: the barracks, a few shops, and the town hall-like building where the village had gathered two night's before to find out exactly how Sam and the colonel had suddenly become an important part of their lives.

But the activity that drew her gaze down the road in the direction of the temple was strange. There were children hooting and hollering. A game gone wrong, perhaps? Or a tussle? She wasn't sure. She hadn't seen children in or around the temple at all during their stay on Rorilia. Ohara had mentioned that children didn't worship along with adults, and it had registered with her that she'd never even seen the children venture to that end of the village.

She looked back down at the papers she'd gathered before when she was going to try to make a break for it. The notes she'd grabbed were mostly worthless – old information, a day old already. She'd have to go get the more up to date information. And her laptop wouldn't hurt. As the colonel pointed out, she had just one more day to make enough progress to stall their wedding.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

By the time she was able to head towards her lab, the suns had surpassed high in the sky and were headed back towards the horizon. Daniel had reappeared with a book that included equations that had, after several hours of excited calculations, proven to be unrelated to the task at hand. The colonel had returned with the equipment she'd requested and she'd calibrated the new machinery to work in Rorilia's slightly odd geomagnetic field.

At some point she'd stopped for a late lunch and a bath when the colonel had helpfully pointed out that not only was she covered in a fine layer of the gritty, mustard-colored sand she'd been wallowing in under the larger equipment, but she also didn't smell so great.

She was combing her fingers through her wet hair and chatting with Daniel about his day's progress when she stepped into her lab. It wasn't immediately apparent what was wrong, but something was. She checked the magnetic particle inspector, and it was fine. She turned to wake up her laptop, but it was gone. So was the leather-bound folio that held her loose-leaf notes.

Daniel was still chattering away about something but she wasn't following his litany any longer. She was racking her brain. Had she taken the laptop and notes back to the little house? To the courtyard, perhaps, at one of the meal times? Did the colonel take it with him to the gate?

"Sam?" Daniel broke her reverie. "What's wrong?"

"Have you seen me with my laptop today? Or my notes?"

"You had notes at breakfast," he said with a shrug.

She shook her head; _no, those were outdated_. "At any other time?"

"Nope."

She took a deep breath. She hadn't thought she was overtired, but apparently, she'd been mistaken. She left the lab behind, Daniel still following along talking a mile a minute, oblivious to anything that wasn't the exciting world of the Rorilian language shift that had occurred four hundred years prior – okay, so perhaps she'd been paying a little bit of attention.

She was nearly frantic by the time the search of the house and courtyard turned up nothing. She'd been previously denied entry to the barracks because that's where the men of the security force were housed. However, at the hour, she knew them to be training out in the grass fields where the children had been playing when she and the colonel had been roped into the whole mess. It was that arrogance of foresight that presented her with an image of her nearly naked CO as he stepped out of the communal bath and into the main bunkroom at the same moment she burst in.

She was dumbfounded. He was tall, lean, tan and wearing nothing but a set of jockey shorts-style underwear she'd never fully appreciated until that moment. He'd stood there, looking at her while he toweled his hair until she had, apparently, _appreciated_ him for too long.

A bemused smile spread across his face. "Captain? You needed something?

She flushed from the roots of her hair down to her belly button. She knew that deep blush; she'd been intimately acquainted with it since her brother had flung a training bra across the hallway between the junior high and high school corridors when she was fourteen and had the huge crush on his best friend Eric Elliott who was never more than a few steps away from the magnanimous Mark Carter.

She spun on her heels and presented him with her back. "Oh my god, sir, I'm so sorry."

He chuckled and she could hear the rustle of ABUs behind her. "Carter, they're just underwear. And you can turn around now."

She did, only to find him standing there in his unbuttoned and unzipped pants, bare chest damp and gleaming behind his dog tags, and she found that sight oddly more intimate than the long-glimpse she'd had of him in far less moments before. She averted her gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry, sir."

"We've established that. What did you need?"

"Oh." She looked up in time to see him pull a black t-shirt over his head. She watched him tuck it in and fasten his pants before she remembered she was supposed to be talking. _God, this is embarrassing_. "Have you seen my laptop?"

"Not since last night in the lab."

"Neither have I. It's gone, sir. My notes, too."

"Gone? For cryin' out loud, Carter; no one here can use it."

"I know that, sir."

"Are you sure it's not in your room? You've been in and out of there a few times today."

"I've checked. Not there."

"The courtyard?"

"No."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'm doing risk assessment in my head, Captain. There wasn't enough brain power to supply words, too."

She quirked a grin. "Yes, sir."

"Who benefits from a missing laptop and notes?"

"Eduan," she said quickly.

"That's where I ended up, too."

"But he's been with us all day, scowling at the new equipment."

"That doesn't mean he didn't take it. It just means that you didn't _see_ him take it."

"Sir, he's been a pain in the ass, but he's been fair."

"He's not exactly your biggest fan, Carter."

"So, now what?"

Daniel and Teal'c entered the barracks, the wooden door slapping shut behind them. "Any luck, Sam?"

"What, you thought I was going to find my laptop in here? That the colonel would be playing minesweeper and having a big laugh at my expense?"

He raised his hands in supplication. "Hey, just asking."

She exhaled heavily and pressed a palm over her eyes. "I'm sorry."

He patted her shoulder awkwardly. "It's okay."

"There are few people here who would benefit from the loss of your research, Captain Carter."

"We already got there, Teal'c," the colonel said and collapsed onto the edge of one of the beds. "Okay. So we… _I_… confront Eduan about the missing equipment. He denies taking it. Then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Daniel, let's cut to the chase."

Sam sat down on the floor with her back against the bed facing him. "This is the last day he agreed to give me. He's going to force us to get married."

"He can try, Carter, but he can't _actually_ force us into anything. Even if we participate in whatever it is he wants us to..._participate in…_ it's not like it's anything but a means to an end."

"An end I'd prefer to avoid."

"Well," he huffed and grasped at the back of his neck, "yeah. Me too."

"But," she hedged, "we're going to _have_ to confront him. I can't pretend as if I'm working because that'll solve even less than our getting married would and he'd _know_. And we can't get another laptop through the gate because Baurton's men have been checking all the deliveries that have come through the gate for weaponry, right?"

The colonel nodded. "Yep. And by now, I don't think any of them wouldn't know a laptop if they saw one."

"We don't have our weapons and we're outnumbered," Daniel reminded the team unnecessarily. "Can we sneak out to the gate in the middle of the night?"

The colonel shook his head. "Baurton's got a contingent of five men on the gate at all times. While we _could_ do it, I'm not sure five bare-hands fatalities are the answer. Not yet."

"So…where does that leave us?"

Daniel cleared his throat. "There _are_ seven more marriage rites to be performed."

"Daniel—" the colonel started, gearing up for a rant.

"It _would_ buy us a little time, sir."

He studied her carefully. "So you're saying instead of pretending to pretend to go along with this whole marriage thing, that we _actually_ pretend to go along with this whole marriage thing?"

She couldn't help the rueful smile. "Yes, sir. I think I am."

His head dropped back and she found herself inexplicably focused on his Adam's apple and the strong line of his turned-up jaw. "Carter, you're enough to give a guy whiplash, you know that?"

"Yes, sir."

He looked down at her and quirked an eyebrow at the mischievous look on her face. "So, what now?"

Sam looked down at her watch. "Three hours until sundown." She grimaced. "I suppose I have time to go see the _attendants_."

The colonel grinned. "It's a little early to be getting gussied up for the wedding, don't you think?"

Exasperated, she said, "I don't think that's what the attendants are for."

Daniel piped up. "Nope. As a matter of fact, it seems their only function is to show her how to prepare herself for the pre-marriage rites."

"_Prepare_ herself?" the colonel asked aghast, just as she mirrored his tone with, "_Excuse me?_"

"That's one of the things I found along with the reference to the eight phases. You'll need to be dressed and prepared properly for each of the rites."

"What, _exactly_, do these rites entail, Daniel?" the colonel asked with steel in his voice.

"I don't know. Not yet," he hurried to continue when the colonel looked ready to blow a gasket. "But in light of today's developments I think I'll start the research on the wedding rituals right away. The element can…" he glanced at Sam and winced, "wait."

"Okay," the colonel said with finality. "Daniel's headed back to his books, Sam's going to the temple to do…_whatever_… I'm going to do a little creative recon to see if I can put my eyes on Carter's missing paraphernalia. Teal'c…go stand somewhere and look intimidating." He stood and offered his hand to haul Sam up off the ground.

Teal'c nodded and harnessed his ever-present frown. "If you believe that will be helpful, O'Neill."

The colonel, apparently, couldn't help but laugh and he clapped the big man on the shoulder as he walked by. "Well, Teal'c, it certainly isn't going to hurt."


End file.
